Perhaps this is a new series - Parenting Teens. It wasn't really planned, but I was making some observations the other day and thought I'd share them with you while they were on my mind.
As the Blossoms grow and get busier, I've found how necessary it is to keep everyone in the loop as far as the family schedule.
Every morning after their personal quiet time and then, our devotions together, we pow-wow about the day and days ahead. On Monday, we also especially pow-wow about the week ahead.
When changes inevitably must be made, it is SO important that I make sure all of the Blossoms are aware of these changes. When they understand expectations and plans, the whole day runs smoother. Attitudes are better. No one likes to be surprised... in that way. I mean, if you're talking surprise ice cream, that's a totally different story.
"Wait, I didn't know so-and-so was stopping over!"
"I didn't realize I had to have this done by then!"
"I didn't know we were leaving at this time!"
"I don't have this exam done; I can't go to that!"
With having four Blossoms, everyone is not always in the room when I make a comment or adjustment to our schedule for the day. And when 3/4 know of different expectations, that 1/4 can really throw a monkey wrench in the mix when they don't know they were supposed to be ready an hour earlier because we now have to run two more errands before Bible Quiz practice.
Blossom1 and Blossom2 have Google Calendars and we share important events with that program. It's very helpful! I'm still getting used to checking their calendars before I answer when someone asks if we're available. You'd think I'd remember if Blossom1 made a chiropractor appointment or that Blossom2 has a live lecture. BUT I DON'T. Use the tools that are out there to boost your brain power!
There's a degree of common courtesy underlying this whole approach. Understanding that I'm dealing with people. It's courteous to keep everyone in the loop. Herego, I do my best to inform everyone.
It's kinda funny but I've taken to making Public Service Announcements in our house. Sometimes I even use a silly announcer voice. Sometimes my PSA is me singing out "T-30 minutes til lift-off!" When you've got this many people leaving the house, it's just a good idea for everyone to know when time is tickin'.
It may sound ridiculous to make PSAs as there are only six of us, but let's be real, there are SIX of us! We need to be on the same page! I got tired of realizing I'd missed a Blossom or two in passing because someone was in the bathroom or something. I've realized that one way for me to parent well in this season is to be careful to inform EVERYONE.
Sometimes that means I ask the older Blossoms,
can you be available for this event?
Do you have room for this event in your week?
How will this affect your workload and productivity for school, if we say yes to this?
How can we make this work?
There's something respectful about that. Correspondingly, when I communicate that I want them to prioritize something, they usually extend that same courtesy and respect to the Rugged Mountain Man and me so we don't have to play hardball.
It's just a different approach from when I'd wake up in the morning and say, "We're going to the library today!"
Planning helps us develop and maintain unity in our family. Unity is my God-glorifying goal.
I'm always on the lookout for good organizational tips and tricks for keeping this place running like a well-oiled machine.
As the Blossoms grow, it's getting harder and harder to tell their clothes apart when doing the wash. I find this confusing, especially when we're folding! I don't have time to hold up each article and say, "Who does this belong to?" Maybe you're laughing, but they all own at least a few pairs of black Adidas track pants... and everyone gets irritated if their pants disappear into the great abyss of someone else's dresser.
Blossom1 is the oldest. She gets 1 dot.
Blossom2 is 2 dots.
Blossom3 is 3 dots.
Blossom4 is the youngest and she gets 4 dots. So simple!
All you need is a Sharpie when you're folding. Find out who the item belongs to and mark the tag with the right amount of dots. The beauty is that as the girls grow and favorite items of clothing get handed down to smaller sisters, you just need to add the right amount of dots to keep the label current!
This works SO much better than initials! I don't label everything, but when we have lots of Adidas pants that are similar in a whole range of sizes, I bust out my Sharpie and get right down to dotting the tags!
Jeans that look similar...
Bible Quiz and Fine Arts team shirts that are all the same but different sizes belong to different Blossoms...
Junior sizing that is so inconsistent, no one can predict what item actually fits what Blossom...
whatever else I am confused about.
Just dot it!
I like to sit at the kitchen island and sip tea with my sister... or in this case, today I tried to make her a Brown Sugar Shaken Espresso. It wasn't as good as the ones Blossom1 makes for me, but it was drinkable. I'll try again when she's over again next week.
We talk about all sorts of things at the kitchen island while the little boys are doing activities with the Younger Blossoms in the dining room. I kept glancing over and noticing Blossom3 helping one of her cousins memorize and choreograph a Shel Silverstein poem... something about April Fools. Their big motions and enunciation made me smile.
Sometimes we talk about giving our husbands haircuts. Sometimes we talk about our latest thrifting finds. Sometimes we talk about what the girls or the boys are up to.
We haven't talked about books lately, but books are always a good idea! That's the kind of post this is... a sitting at the kitchen island, talking about books kind of post.
Have you read anything good lately?
A friend sent me this very thought-provoking post about the valorization of busyness. Read it. It's totally worth it! This article re-iterated an unpopular truth that what I do in a day might not be "productive," but it is good. Am I following the leading of the Spirit as to how I fill my days? Am I measuring my days with His standard or the world's standard? Busyness, in and of itself, is not a measure of success. Have I chosen according to the Lord's wisdom?
I just finished Creative Love by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff. It was a quick little read that I picked up when the Rugged Mountain Man and I were wandering the aisles of the Ollie's book section on his birthday. The Ollie's book section is our small town equivalent of a bookstore date. Creative Love was a quick little read that was inspiring. Their stories kept it light-hearted and their style kept it personal. It was full of ideas for investing in your marriage and relationship for the long haul. I really liked hearing what they were doing to build a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Overall, I would recommend it as a mini-manual of ideas and principles for anyone building a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Somebody mentioned something in conversation the other day about starting a bakery, and it took me back to the Baxter Family Bakery series by Elizabeth Maddrey. I first read this series a couple of years ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. Perhaps it's the fact that it's centered around four siblings in a small town. Whatever the reason, I love the small town vibe, the new business startup, the real characters, and the easy reading. Clean Christian romance for the win! Her Billionaire Next Door series is awfully fun too!
Christy Barritt is another favorite author of mine. She released Shadow Operative, a new book in her latest new series. I love every one of her series that are based in and around Lantern Beach. Her bent is suspense and there's still the Nancy Drew fan in me that craves suspense. This is clean and fun. I'm looking forward to more in the Shadow Agency series!
I'd love to know what you're reading.
Hold on... I'll get out my Goodreads app and add that to my "Want to Read" list.
The best recommendations come from friends!
Now that the older Blossoms are 18 and 16, I reflect from time to time on what we have and haven't yet taught them to do. I got to thinking the other day about all the things I consider a life skill. It's not necessarily the same list that others might have and I'm good with that.
It's my job as a parent to make sure that life skills are being developed and utilized in order to move toward healthy independence.
Cooking is a life skill. Reading a recipe. Boiling water. Scrambling eggs.
I once taught a cooking class for our homeschool co-op with a dear friend. We called it, "How Not To Starve." Our premise was that if you can cook eggs, you won't starve. If you can make spaghetti, you won't starve. We hit a lot of great basics - even homemade chicken nuggets - in that 8 week class and the class still stands as a fun memory for our children.
I don't ask their opinion. I don't make learning life skills optional to the girls, nor do I make it a huge blown up announcement kind of thing. We keep it matter of fact.
They don't have to love that particular thing, but they need to be able to do it independently. As a parent, it falls to me to faithfully teach them.
You can teach your kids life skills.
Steady plodding makes good progress! Keep at it, my friends!
What's up with us lately?
~ Blossom1 made the President's Honor List. Man, she was proud of that certificate. Being that this is more like her third year of college, she was thrilled to finally receive recognition for her hard work. (Dual Enrollment students do not get recognized on the Honor lists.) She's a freshman and yet, she's not.
~ Punxy Phil declared that spring is on its way. Blossom3 and Blossom4 aren't sure what to think. They've been enjoying good outside time whenever possible. Blossom4 especially loves to play on my 30 year old wooden balance beam. (Thanks for spending a few hours on a Saturday morning building that thing, Dad. It's given me and the girls hours of fun throughout the years.) They enjoy sledding and winter fun, but being able to get out in the sunshine in just sweatshirts and leggings with crocs and socks being optional is where it's at. Even hiking with Daddy is a perk of Punxy's prediction as well.
~ Blossom2 has been busy cranking out restaurant quality desserts. Death by Chocolate Cheesecake, Red Velvet Cupcakes, Dark Chocolate Truffles, White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake Bars, and other delicious goodness. I'm impressed at the level of quality she is putting out and I'm excited to see where she is headed with this skill. The future is bright!
~ Blossom2 and Blossom3 have been working on Fine Arts entries. This year, their team is doing an American Sign Language number. I got to watch a video of practice today and I was astonished at how much drama, expression, and choreography can be put into a routine that only involves sign language! I know it will minister to people!
Looking at life lately, it seems there's a bit of a theme.
Identify an interest, work hard, and see where it goes.
There aren't many fireworks-light bulb-rainbow-genie kind of moments in life, but there's a whole lot of chiseling away at honing skills. There's a slew of perseverance.
Sometimes I help the Blossoms persevere and sometimes, they are inwardly driven. Either way, I'm here, intricately involved and invested in the process... supporting, encouraging, nurturing, still correcting, and...
parenting.
Winter time is for reading... among other things!
The thrill that went through my heart when I saw Blossom4 kneeling at this veritable buffet of Nancy Drew was worth all the time I've spent investing in her reading journey.
She's been knocking out Nancy Drew books in less than a day each.
For many of us, what we're having for supper is the decision that haunts us all day.
It seems we've developed a bit of a routine over the years. My brain needs its energy to countless other innumerable challenges -
from helping Blossom2 access her online learning platform when for some reason, it just won't link despite all the access codes in the world...
to tackling slope and y-intercept challenges with Blossom3 when my brain is still absorbing my morning cuppa tea...
to helping Blossom4 remember to oil-pull for the health of her tonsils...
Oh wait, and supper? Did you say supper????
My tried and true method is this:
Decide on supper when you're dealing with breakfast,
the very first meal of the day.
When the Blossoms filter in after devotions and chores and I'm puttering about in the kitchen with them... I decide on supper.
(I do realize that moms of littles probably aren't puttering about the kitchen; they're scrambling about the kitchen.)
But you're in the kitchen, so decide on supper. Don't worry about what you're in the mood for. Don't worry about what sounds good. Look at the time that you have for preparing supper. Look at the menu you made before you went shopping.
Decide. Just decide.
Then, pull the meat out of the freezer and put it on a plate to thaw all day.
Good job! You conquered that decision!
Busy, busy, busy.
That's how it always is.
The snow days are refreshing, mainly because of the "margin."
The breathing room.
The schedule white space.
The time to stop.
The time to go.
