Monday, October 21, 2013

Struggling with Nice

Speaking of "Being Real" (see previous post), I had a Mommy Date with Skipper the other day.  Daddy had taken the "big Blossoms" on a bike ride, that was too long for the "little Blossoms" to participate.  So, the day was spent as a Daddy date for the big Blossoms and a Mommy date for the little Blossoms. 

Skipper got to paint her nails.  All.  By.  Herself.  I don't like messes.  And, it is fun to paint little girlies' toenails, (it's a perk of having all girlies) so I usually do the painting, but Skipper is an independent fanatic.  She LOVES to do things by herself.  She'd rather do something all wrong, all by herself, than do it right, with help.  I have to remind myself that this is actually a wonderful trait.  Anyway, so Skipper got to paint her own toenails as many times as she wanted.  She also shared a Brownie In a Mug with Mommy.  And, I can't even remember what else we did for our Mommy date.  Oh yes, I looked her in the eyes and listened to every story and rabbit trail she invented.  She looked up and said, "Why you being so nice to me today, Mommy?" 


I like to probe for the truth behind the Blossoms' words.  They rarely say things that don't mean something. 

"Isn't Mommy nice to you other days?" 


I separated the 3 year old truth from the other truth.  When Mommy says, "No" and doesn't let her jump on the couch or pester Sweet Pea to tears, Skipper doesn't think I'm very nice.  I understand that. She can't see the long haul that I see.  That she has to learn boundaries.  That she has to understand authority.  But, behind that, I could see her point.  Mommy had been struggling with anger and patience.  A firm voice, but a nice voice (not that get-out-of-my-face-I-can't-take-anymore-whining voice)... more saying yes to what I can say yes to.  Yes, it hurt to hear that from our little Blossom, but I tried to take it like a woman.  I tried to listen to the voice of God, speaking through our child.  May His Holy Spirit work real change in my heart and daily interactions with the girlies.