The Meaning of MOB

The Mother of the Bride.

It means:

~ tedious and fun craft projects!

~ cycling 30 tablecloths through the dryer... alllllll day... with a damp towel to get those ugly wrinkles out... then breaking your drying rack because surely your walmart drying rack can hold 100 lbs of linens! 

~ brainstorming, timelines, and lots of lists...

~ ordering random things like battery packs and double-sided tape and wait, DO WE TRULY HAVE ENOUGH SAFETY PINS for the emergency bag???

~ more fun craft projects!

~ steaming dresses... LOTS of dresses.  When I don't know what to do next, I just steam a dress and usually by the time I'm finished, I know what to work on next.

~ piles.  EVERYWHERE.  Wedding piles, apartment piles, present piles, return piles, PILES.  I think the Rugged Mountain Man is ready to sleep outside.

~ I'm the SAG team.  My dad calls my mom the "Support and Gear team" when he does his marathon bike rides.  That's definitely me in general and definitely me for this whole process... and it's my pleasure.

~ making boutonnieres and corsages and wristlets!  I burned my finger on my good friend's (the Mother of the Groom!) wristlet!  "Greater love hath no Mother of the Bride, than she lay down her life sacrifice her finger for the Mother of the Groom!" lol

~ saying no to random side quests right now, when I'd also like to say yes.  There are two classifications right now, wedding tasks and post-wedding problems!

~ falling down random Google rabbit holes to help research and tie up another loose end.

~ trying to get a little sun while completing urgent homestead chores, because no MOB wants to be pasty-white on the big day.

~ cutesy matching shirts with my close friend, the mother of the groom!  This was one craft project I offloaded!

~ "print me an inspo pic," because what the bride is thinking and what I'm thinking are two different things (Hello from two different generations!) BUT it is delightful to use years of event experience to help make their vision come alive!

~ It means being present, being helpful, and figuring it all out... together!

And it was oh-so-sweet!

More on the wedding another time!  As always, dear friends, thanks for walking through the seasons of motherhood with me.  They are truly beautiful.  We are profoundly grateful here in the Hollow.

Life Lately - Two Weeks Out

Hello friend,

These are exciting times here in the Hollow!  We have less than two weeks til Blossom1's wedding!  We are working on so many details and logistics.  I listen and I ask Blossom1 what is stressing her right now and we try to lighten her and her fiance's load.  I ask questions; we brainstorm and we plug away on list after list.  

Then, we write more lists!

Lately I've been trying:
to delegate more to my Younger Two Blossoms. After all, spray-painting is a life skill, at least according to this thrifting mama!  They've been handling supper each night as well, and I am SO grateful for this.  It's a sigh of relief for me and my gratitude grows each evening as I reflect on how they're pitching in.

Lately my goal has been:

to soak up the togetherness during the tasks.  Sometimes I forget how much connection happens then; we've always been a family that works hard together.  It's beautiful chatting around wedding baking, wedding tasks and lists, and wood-stacking. It's a good season, but it's different and bittersweet. It's still so good, because, after all, the growing up and all the preparation for adulthood, 

this was the goal all along.

Lately I've been sipping: 

a lot more coffee than usual!  Blossom1 is my main barista at home right now and I have determined that any time she's home and offering to make me coffee, I give a whole-hearted YESSSSS.

Lately I've been laughing:

because once upon a time, the Blossoms picked out an Easy Button when they were school shopping with Grandma.  After it was struck sixteen times in a row, with hysterical giggles following, I hid it.  Whilst rummaging for supplies for another wedding project the other day, I found it and decided that any time we complete a wedding task, we will victoriously slap the Easy Button.  (Picture a Michael Jordan slam dunk circa 1996.) 

This is surprisingly satisfying... and it makes us laugh.  We always need more laughter.

When Blossom1 and her fiance arrive home from working at a coffee shop or completing wedding errands, they stand at the dining room table to get caught up their Easy Button presses.  

Lately I've been crafting:

Sister Squad t-shirts just for fun for decorating day, boutonnieres, corsages, flower girl basket, just soooooo many fun things.  I'm good at logistics but I really enjoy the crafts and pretty things.

Lately I've been thinking:

that if you think your homeschooled student hates busy work now, just wait til they get to college.  One thing I didn't anticipate was the strong aversion the Blossoms would develop to busy work and dumb assignments.  We carefully crafted their education so each assignment had a point and purpose, but I'm also glad that character-building has been a focus all along.  Character traits like perseverance and working as unto the Lord are what get Blossom1 through grad school assignments that are dumb, but still have to be completed the week of the wedding.

We're here, plugging away in a different season and I'm whispering daily, 

"Thank you, Lord, for life lately."

May Days

The summer days have begun, with quiet time on the porch together.

With swimming at Grandma's.

With watering plants and spying pops of sumptuous color.

With greenhouse trips.

With sunshine that ministers to the soul.

With bare feet in grassy cushion.

With an out of state friend visiting and fitting right in with the Blossoms.

With little kids graduating, children that romped their childhoods with the Blossoms now growing into adulthood.

With garden green goodness on our table.

With wedding planning and pretty rural apartment hunting for Blossom1 and her fiance. (I think he needs a blog name on here!)

With Italy globe-trotting for Blossom2.

So many brights spots around here amidst hard things and everyday bumps and trials and summer work.

It's possible to celebrate great victories

and beautiful poignant motherhood moments

in the midst of pain and sorrow.

We lost my uncle unexpectedly last weekend.  

I cannot even process this tragic loss. His is a legacy of love, of children, of grandchildren, of quality time, and investing in family. He spent years simply showing up for family.  

Thinking about him propels me into times of reflection on what matters most in this little flash of a life on the radar of eternity.

Family.

Relationships.

Quality time.

Practically showing up.

Helping.

Loving.

I'm taking these musings with me through the pain and also the sunshine of these May days.

Dominique

For This Season

Mamas,

Are you weary? 

Are you unsure of your role in this season?

Are you longing for a different, easier season?

Where do we go when we feel these things?

"...Strength and joy are in His place."

I Chronicles 16:27

All we need is there,

in His presence,

yet we search and search elsewhere.

Chocolate is easier.

Doom-scrolling is easier.

Complaining is easier.

"...Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.

Seek the Lord and His strength;

Seek His face continually."

I Chronicles 16:10-11

We tend to go anywhere but there, 

in His presence.

Where He is, 

where His strength is.

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you..."

James 4:8

What a precious promise for those seasons we don't like,

those painful times,

those confusing times.

He's taking those steps toward us,

as we move closer in faith,

believing in the goodness of the Father's heart.

This is where we will find mercy and grace for this season of need.

Drawing near,

taking the steps closer to Him.

"Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, 

so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Hebrews 4:16

Then, we can proclaim,

"The nearness of God is my good."

"But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;

I have made the Lord God my refuge,

That I may tell of all Your works."

Psalm 73:28

Dominique

Would you like to hear more? Check out this message entitled, "But God, I Don't Like This Season."

https://www.facebook.com/EchoHopeAssembly/videos/1698716537926374

Click to around 28:50 for the main message.

“Scripture quotations taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. www.Lockman.org”

The Third and Fourth Rodeo

This ain't my first rodeo.

I think this is my third and fourth rodeo...

with dissection, that is.

One of these gals can be a little squeamish with blood, so I wasn't sure what to expect when it came to dissection.  I kept my tone business-like, with a sprinkling of my usual curious excitement.  She had no issues and she approached it in much the same way as I did.

Blossom3 and Blossom4 were excellent lab partners.  Watching their teamwork and communication blessed my mama heart.  

They were enthralled with each part they successfully identified.  I was especially excited when they thought to hunt down the microscope camera that Blossom4 received as a gift from her sister not long ago. It truly took their dissection experience to the next level!

(When I facilitate dissection again at our co-op, I hope to include a microscope camera in those lessons because we were able to learn so much more as a result.)

Dissection is surely another fabulous way to marvel over our Creator's intelligent designs!

Fitly Spoken

Sometimes you receive good and timely words and you need to write them down, 
so your heart can roll them around.

Enjoy the present.

Look forward to the future.

Keep praying hard.

Continue to cultivate togetherness.  

It will pay off.  

It is paying off.

Count your blessings 

amidst good, yet bittersweet and changing seasons.  

"A word fitly spoken

is like apples of gold in pictures of silver."

On Bravery and Emerging Coltsfoot

One of the earliest emerging wildflowers in Pennsylvania is Coltsfoot.  Over the last several weeks, I watched and waited for these little rays of sunshine to bravely soldier upward in the unpredictable weeks of our spring weather.

I've enjoyed watching for them while their spring bravery inspires me.  

As the Blossoms mature and grow, I have purposed in my heart that I will not be a coward.  

It is tempting to make every interaction positive.  After all, the older Blossoms are no longer at home or with me all day long.  There are far less daily interactions when you look at the amount of time we've spent together over their childhood years.

Will I just be the "best friend" mom?

Will I only say the fun and easy things?  

Will I exclusively speak of the comfortable topics?

Sometimes there is prompting in my heart for things that need to be said.  

The Holy Spirit prompts and I must obey.  

Will I take the easy route?

I have told the Blossoms, "You will hear the Truth from me.  You may not be able to count on anyone else around you to bravely speak Truth, but I will do it."

That's real love.

Be brave, mamas. Listen to His prompting and speak in love.  

The Holy Spirit will continue to use us in our children's lives.

Dominique

Reset: Do the Thing

Last Saturday, we had the opportunity to run up to the cabin to fish for the day.  

I was so conflicted because Saturday is homestead work day and my much-needed catch-up day.  It seems I'm always behind in some way these days.

It's a struggle between making the memories and keeping a semblance of order.  The Rugged Mountain Man and several family members encouraged me to go, fully understanding my dilemma.

My brother and sister-in-law say it this way,

"Do the thing."

The thing you'll wish you'd done in ten years. 

Do the thing.

Hike the moutain.

Soak up the sunshine.

Take the drive.

Go fishing.

Revel in the time with your Blossoms.  

There is merit to maintaining order in your home and homestead, but for a task-oriented person like me, I truly needed the reminder to go, to rest.

So, we trekked to one of my most favorite places in the world, and embraced the slower, unplugged pace.  

We breathed deeply, 

fished hard, 

laughed together, 

and refreshed our minds in the woods.

It was 100% worth it, but for every person who struggles with this, the work was still waiting for me.  I did still feel behind when I returned and truthfully, I didn't meet all those tasks with grace and patience.  I eventually marshalled the Blossoms to pitch in and get a handle on a few things.  Most things these days are an ongoing process, rather than a task that stays completed.  

The Lord is working on my heart and attitude, and maybe the time out in the sunshine, resting my mind was the reset point for more good things that He's doing in me ~

Right now, in the trenches.

In the busy times.

In this high demand season.

I want God to form my character in the good and easy times, 

but truly, He does more to shape me in the busiest times.

Dominique

Did I Model That?

"Did you model that for the Blossoms?" 

my brother asked, as we were chatting about the Blossoms' fitness routines.  The Blossoms regularly utilize YouTube videos, walking trails, country roads, the college gym, weights, the treadmill, Pilates, and stretching.  How did this happen?

Considering my seemingly imperfect habits, I was about to shrug in the negative, 
until I reflected over the last twenty years.  

When I zoom out, surprisingly, I realized the answer is yes.  

I've squeezed walks in, with strollers, baby carriers, toddlers, tweens, and teens.

I've stretched and jump-roped in the sun while they played in the sandbox.

I've line-danced in the backyard whilst bumping into each other.

I've done fitness videos in the living room with little people climbing on me.

I've utitilized silly kids exercise YouTube videos with cute sidekicks.  

I've capitalized on dance fitness videos with tweens and teens who are now more coordinated than I am.

I've kickboxed in the living room and refereed squabbles and kickboxed again.

I've jump-roped and bounced on the mini trampoline while listening to reading assignments.

I've taken quiet solitary evening walks and family walks and one-on-one walks and walked along behind ambitious runners.

I've walked on the treadmill while the Blossoms do outside chores.

Not in my own perfection, but yes, in each season, I kept adjusting and trying and snatching time.  

Surprisingly, maybe I did model a commitment to overall fitness over the last twenty years!  

I share this not to brag, but to encourage you.  

It is not your perfection that influences your children; 
it is your perseverance.

Springtime and Subtle Shifts

The days are warming up and we are jubilantly soaking in the carefree moments.  

From lunchtime walks to weekend wanderings, 

the sprouts of spring are spunky and spirited and (in)spiring.

Wanderings like these lend themselves to reflection.

There are some things that always remain the same throughout all seasons of motherhood.

Love is a constant.  

Love fiercely.  

Love practically.  

Love freely. 

Love patiently.

Love firmly.

Love.

Say yes whenever you can.

Yes to opportunities to connect.

YES.

Pray.

Pray hard.

Pray for your beautiful Blossoms (or Sprouts).

Pray for yourself and your husband.

Pray.

Other things do change.  Subtly, but they do.

A twenty-year-old is not "managed" the same way an eight-year-old is "managed."  

There are no more reminders to brush teeth or set alarms.  

There is no more hovering about the mirror to make sure modesty standards are upheld.  

She and the Holy Spirit can figure it out by now.

I'm around if she asks for my opinion.

What used to be a long parenting exhortation 

is now a well-placed sentence at the right time.

Given with prayerful grace.

I don't tell the older Blossoms how to handle a situation; 

I try to listen to their recounting and see how they handled it.  

We're here with wisdom, but, most likely, she already knows what we'd say.  

She has His voice inside her.

Some situations just need prayer,

not more of my opinions.

Motherhood shifts, but I'm finding joy behind the shifts, 

noting the growing maturity, the deeply held personal standards, 

blossoming goals and dreams, and a solid foundation.

May He continue to build in the Blossoms' lives.  May He weave the tapestries of their lives.

Half a Habit

Sometimes you have a goal and you're doing really well with it and then, you just hit a snag.  

(I could be looking at you, time change.) 

Before I even realized, I went two weeks with barely a walk in my daily routine and I could tell.

More emotional, less energy.  

If you haven't heard me say it before, exercise is magic.

Because of a few extra demands in our mornings lately, I was having trouble establishing that consistency again. I realized this:

Half a habit is better than seven days without a habit.  

Half a habit builds momentum.

Half a habit is the road back to a good, healthy habit.

I told myself that I could manage 10 minutes on the treadmill or just a quick little walk while Blossom3 was helping with Art Club or squeeze in a few laps around the yard.  

Ten minutes grows.  It's the first step and the longest journeys begin with the first step.

What can you conquer by beginning with half a habit?

What Season Are We In?

This week, we landed somewhere in the neighborhood of Second Winter, Spring of Deception, and Mud Season.  Inevitably, Third Winter followed and that's where we're currently standing as I watch white stuff flit through the air and listen as the wind howls in protest.

We soaked up the sunshine while we had it though, walking, playing in the yard, and working on the homestead, with light hearts and warmth on our faces.  There were towels on the line and breezes skittering through our home, refreshing and reviving us.

In a fit of spring rage-cleaning, I cleaned out the garden and planted lettuce in my mini milk jug greenhouses.  Outside work is such a healthy way to blow off steam.

I'm still not certain how much I'm planting in the garden this year.  This mama is juggling a lot and my normal Blossom work force is not always around, leaving me wondering how much I can realistically juggle.  This is a challenge, unique to the season of launching adults and guiding teens. 

Your work force graduates and you're back to doing many of the tasks alone...

or mostly alone.

Sometimes I feel emotional about this and sometimes I just barrel through. The core is still the same for me:

Work as unto the Lord.

Serve Him with excellence, by serving my family with excellence.

This is the guidepost I come back to when I'm struggling with my attitude.

Dominique

The (New) Little Old Ladies

A longtime family friend and the original 4-H leader to our Blossoms had a predicament:

All the little old ladies with sewing skills are dying off,

so all the little old ladies who used to volunteer to sew things like catheter covers, newborn hats, and NICU quilts are becoming much harder to find.

She texted me an SOS.  

Enter the (new) little old ladies:

the Blossoms and their Blossom friends thinking bigger than themselves.

With their time and

with their talents. 

We gathered and pooled our sewing machines.

They laughed and grinned and spent the morning

using their hands to bring dignity back to elderly folks in a local nursing home.

It challenged me not to get too busy to pass on the life skills that we value.