Unpopular: Serving Your Children

Am I a doormat?  Sometimes we mamas wonder this.  

I make food.  

I pick up clutter.

I calm fears.  

I wash clothes.  

I educate.  

I scrub.

I solve problems.

I do what no one else wants to do,

or remembers to do.  

I serve.  

Jesus came to serve. He modeled serving in a way that blows my mind.  He washed the disciples' feet.  It was one of the lowest tasks and to think of the Son of God, scrubbing the crust off of regular folks' disgusting, stinky feet is mind-boggling to me.

That's what I want to emulate.  

It seems to me that serving goes back to my attitude, rather than how my family treats me.  When I approach each task with Jesus' mindset, serving isn't so revolting.  

I've been thinking about serving my children.  It's not a very popular line of thought:

Serving our Blossoms right now looks like:

~ graciously picking up feed from the Mill when they accidentally underestimate how much we needed.

~ finding ways to lighten the load when time demands are higher.  Sometimes that means I'm scrubbing a floor or cleaning a bathroom that I don't normally have to clean.

~ keeping the gallon of green tea on the counter full, because Blossom2 loves it.

~ staying up late while a Blossom finishes an important assignment, just so I can bring over a cup of tea or help her stay awake.

~ washing her favorite water bottle.

~ scrubbing a favorite, stained mug.

~ rebraiding (again) the front braid that is helping Blossom3 stay sane while she grows her bangs out.

~ stopping what I'm doing to help find a missing article of clothing or possession.  

~ dropping off her package that needs to be returned.

There is a time and a place for me to stay out of situations so that they learn responsibility or learn a lesson.  I'm always training and teaching so the girls can handle more responsibility and master more life skills.  The Lord gives me wisdom and discretion.  

I'm just finding that the Lord gets to the heart of the matter with me and nudges me to serve.  Sometimes they're appreciative and sometimes they don't notice.  

Either way, through love, I will serve my family.

"...through love serve one another."

Galatians 5:13, NASB

Solutions for Busy Families

Solutions, solutions, solutions!

I love a good solution!  We've had to make some adjustments lately for our busy family of six.  With two Blossoms in college, five jobs between the two of them, other relationships to consider, plus the rest of the family's 4-H, craft show, homestead, and church schedule, we're all on the same team.  That's what I keep telling everyone.  

We're all on the same team!

~ Sunday nights, we have a big pow-wow about what the week is looking like, and what needs to be done.  This helps to relieve the frustration of Daddy walking in and saying, "Grass needs mowed today," and the resulting panicked responses of, 

"I have a huge exam today."

"I have a lengthy paper that I'm finishing today!"

"I have to go clean the airBnB today."

"I was already planning on going to ______ today."

Our Sunday night pow-wow helps to gauge everyone's stress level and what kind of expectations we have for each other.  It helps those of us who have an easier week to pick up some slack or pitch in and help other family members.  It blesses my heart so much when one of the other Blossoms says, "Don't worry about that.  I can do that for you," to one of their sisters.

Our Sunday night pow-wow helps the younger Blossoms to be aware of what to expect for the week.  Meaning, it won't be a week in the hammock reading. It also helps us nail down open time slots for concentrated family time because...

~ We now schedule family time!  During our Sunday night pow-wow, we look at what evenings or afternoons we are all home and available.  We block a certain amount of time out on our schedules.  It doesn't mean we do anything fancy - hang out in the living room or on the porch and chat, throw a ball in the back yard, listen to each other, line dance in the back yard, or have a pizza night.  Because the time is blocked out, sometimes we get to do more - go fishing or go out for ice cream.  Either way, the quality time takes TIME.  We're prioritizing that time by eliminating the "I wouldn't have scheduled  _____ if I had realized you wanted me to be here for family time!"

~ We now have a weekly homestead work list.  Saturdays have always been homestead work day here.  There are different work schedules to consider and we still try to all be doing homestead work on Saturdays.  Some weeks there are just different demands though (like Saturday craft shows for the Younger Blossoms).  Since there is a list posted, all Blossoms consult the list and work on the weekly tasks in more convenient time slots.  We're perfecting this approach, but this solution is helping us stay on the same page and stay on top of things.  Ya gotta stay on top of the demands of farm life.  Otherwise, the poop piles just get bigger and grosser.

~ Morning pow-wows after devotions are still very important here.  We each talk about what our schedules hold for the day, as well as the imperative tasks to accomplish.  This really, really helps to keep everyone in the loop and be understanding of one another.  Blossom2 works early mornings two days a week, so we're still figuring out how to keep us all on the same page when she misses that morning's pow-wow.  For the most part though, it's still working for us.  

~ We invite each other on Google Calendar.  When I really don't want the girls to miss their cousin's graduation ceremony or I really need them to be home to watch the Younger Blossoms, I set up an event in my Google Calendar and invite them (and vice versa).  It probably seems ridiculous, since we all live in the same house, but it sure helps us all to plan around important things.  

~ We had a Fair: What To Work On list on the whiteboard.  The Older Blossoms know the drill but the Younger Blossoms were mistakenly thinking that summer meant you do nothing... all day... every day.  That's not how we roll here.  There's plenty to work on independently, and Mom doesn't have to be looking over your shoulder all the time.  I talked through each item when the list was posted.  I instructed how to access some of the resources needed to accomplish the tasks and they whittled away at that list.  It helps.  

As you've noticed, no solution 100% solves a problem, but it helps.  That's what we need, tools that help keep our family's relationship a priority and tools that keep us on the same page.  We're constantly tweaking these things to work for our family, but the more we communicate, the better daily life can be!

Vacation 2024

We look forward to our vacation all year long.  

It's a very intentional reset, a time of refreshing and re-bonding.  

It's something special that happens when there are no bars of service on the phones big skies and mountains dwarfing us.

It's a time to keep an eye on the Hurricane Debby-inflated waters, 

so we can kayak at the perfect time for each Blossom's skill level.

We come together over delicious food too. The Rugged Mountain Man cooks it all wondrously over a grill and a tripod on the firepit the girls and I built one afternoon ages ago.  I'm responsible for simple side dishes... like steaming our homegrown sweet corn and then we feast, feast, feast, feast!

This year, I can't tell you how thrilled I was when the Older Blossoms took over a couple of breakfasts so that I could have a real break.  WOW.  Just wow.

And then when Blossom2 brought me a special latte she whipped up one morning, 

my heart was happy, happy, happy.

We tend to take time to notice the little things... and the big things too.

There are some non-negotiable traditions, 

like swinging into the creek 

or scenic drives together

or hikes.  

(For a mama who highly values quality time, those are activities that make my heart overflow.)

This time, one Blossom really, really wanted to check out a coffee shop an hour away.

And someone wanted to check out the four-wheeling trails over the mountain.  

We chat, we plan, we roll with the punches (like when ANOTHER bridge is out...) 

and we rest together.

We are oh so grateful.

Father's Day Togetherness

For Father's Day, it was a pretty routine Sunday-

        Church, Grill, Nap, Porch, Outdoors.

The "regular" times are even more special now that the Blossoms are working multiple jobs and have their own busy schedules.  

We were all exhausted from a marathon of a week and being away all day Friday.  It was a good week, accomplishing goals, making headway on lists, spending time at the cabin, and even another victorious Caricature stint for Blossom3.  Good weeks can still be pretty tiring though.  

It was so nice when everyone started filtering out to the porch after our naps.  The Rugged Mountain Man said he'd gather up the rods so we could head out.  It's interesting that rarely does everyone want to do the same thing at the same time.  We are always practicing practical love through flexibility.  This is the time we have to be together.  

It's Father's Day, so we're going fishing.  

Some might feel like swimming.

Some might feel like reading.  

Some do want to fish but maybe not in that location.  

At some point, we just have to make the call on what we're doing... so we're going fishing today.

We pile into the truck and drive away to get into the Great Outdoors... to experience some peace in the green of flora, the beautiful big blue of vast skies, and the ever-soothing water music.

Blossom2 happily caught the first fish.  Mama caught lots of algae and ended with three fish... that's more than the Rugged Mountain Man caught, surprisingly.  I never catch more fish than him!  Blossom4 eventually broke her line, gave up, and conveniently decided to swim for the duration.  Some of us just reveled in the fresh air.  

Together moments are never perfect.  Getting out the door is never perfect.  That all makes sense, since we're imperfect people.  

We ventured out together, soaked up the sunshine, and were grateful for these moments of true beauty and togetherness.  

An Aspiring Caricature Artist

Lately, I've been missing blogging.  Life gets so busy these days, that I don't always get to do the things that I want to do.  I understand that can be par for the course with the season of child-raising that we're in.  However, I've realized how much I benefit from writing about the things that we do and counting my blessings here.  

Last weekend, Blossom3 had her first craft show as a Caricature Artist.  It was a big stretch for her, considering she was originally planning on doing face paint - an art form that is a lot more forgiving for an amateur, in my opinion.  A month prior to the show, we found out that they already had a face paint artist there.  Could she do caricatures instead?  We decided together that she would complete two full caricatures per day and we would see where she stood in a week's time.  After only a week of practice, we could see that this was completely doable for her, so long as she continued to practice each day until show time.

She didn't originally feel like making that leap to do it.  Just like our other girls, we explained that 

sometimes you have to stretch a little.  

She loves art and this was her opportunity to stretch.  

Sometimes kids kinda want to do something but they'll balk because they are shying away from the work involved.  They'll also shy away because they're afraid.  Neither of those things are good reasons not to spread your wings to fly a little.  

Fear and laziness aren't great long-term habits or decision-makers.

My part was to evaluate each practice caricature piece and give feedback.  

I encouraged her to find helpful YouTube videos.  

I helped her compile resources that put tools in her hand for different face shapes and eye/nose/ears/mouth types.  

I made sure she had the right markers and such.  

I helped her problem-solve certain roadblocks she was encountering.  

We came up with a creative business model that lessened the pressure on her.

Ultimately, she still needed to practice, practice, practice, and then draw the caricatures all day long.  

I don't throw the girls into a deep end without making sure they can swim and they know how to swim.  I'm here for every part of the process, but the Rugged Mountain Man and I felt that not jumping in, wasn't an option.  

She rose to the occasion!  She sat there, like a seasoned artist, chatting and smiling as people watched her work and she cranked out twenty-five fabulously creative caricatures!  I am so thankful that she could encounter this victory!