Whether a fear is irrational or not, doesn't make a difference. To the person being tormented, it's as real as the chair I'm sitting on. The dread, the panic, it wears on you. That's what's wrong with fear. I think of Philippians 4:7... my paraphrase:
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension or understanding shall guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus."
The peace that comes from Jesus Christ is beyond comprehension. I may have every reason to have peace or every reason not to have peace. It doesn't matter. He is the God of peace. And I can have that in every circumstance. ("Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance..." 2 Thessalonians 3:16) When my children are sick, when my husband is unexplainably late, when I feel weird, when I think of weird things, it doesn't matter, I can have peace... peace that will guard my heart and mind.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013
Thresholds
The journey through fear was like hiking up a hill. I'd experience real, tormenting fear over a specific thing. I'd pray hrough it. I'd confess the Word. I'd cry. I'd be awake at night paralyzed by lies, though they looked so real. I'd talk to my husband. He'd pray. I'd look at the Word again. And, somewhere along the way, victory would come in the form of peace. I could move on. It didn't paralyze me anymore. It didn't matter what symptoms would say. It didn't matter then. The thing some people don't realize is how real the devil is more than happy to make your fears.
When I was pregnant with Sweet Pea, we made it through the halfway ultrasound. We got a good report, she was healthy. Then, a day or so later, we got a voicemail telling me that I should call the specialist's office. I never talked to this specialist before. I didn't understand why my doctor had referred me to a specialist when I just had a great ultrasound. I couldn't get a hold of anyone from my doctor's office after hours that day to find out what was going on. And, satan had a heyday in my mind. It was a long night. In the morning, I eventually found out that my ultrasound results had accidentally been sent to the specialist. That's it. It was nothing. Satan is a pro at taking nothing and turning into something, a big something. That's fear.
All along the way, I felt like God was holding my hand. I was a timid child, something I'm not normally in my walk with God. I'd always been so confident and sure. Now, God helped me conquer one fear, walk in peace and tackle the next thing. That's faithfulness. I'm thankful that He is.
When I was pregnant with Sweet Pea, we made it through the halfway ultrasound. We got a good report, she was healthy. Then, a day or so later, we got a voicemail telling me that I should call the specialist's office. I never talked to this specialist before. I didn't understand why my doctor had referred me to a specialist when I just had a great ultrasound. I couldn't get a hold of anyone from my doctor's office after hours that day to find out what was going on. And, satan had a heyday in my mind. It was a long night. In the morning, I eventually found out that my ultrasound results had accidentally been sent to the specialist. That's it. It was nothing. Satan is a pro at taking nothing and turning into something, a big something. That's fear.
All along the way, I felt like God was holding my hand. I was a timid child, something I'm not normally in my walk with God. I'd always been so confident and sure. Now, God helped me conquer one fear, walk in peace and tackle the next thing. That's faithfulness. I'm thankful that He is.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Mercy is stronger than Fear
"For indeed he was sick to the point of death, but God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, so that I would not have sorrow upon sorrow."
Philippians 1:27
All I know is that verse shot into my heart like lightning. And I know, God had mercy on Paul so that he didn't have sorrow upon sorrow from losing Epaphroditus. I saw the mercy of God in that passage. And I knew, in my weakness, my sorrow, my fear, I needed mercy. In the New Testament, I began to see that people would come to Jesus to be healed and they'd cry out, "Lord, have mercy on me." And, He'd heal them. They cried out for mercy and faith came next. Clinging to His mercy caused faith to grow in my heart. And Sweet Pea was carried full-term and arrived healthy and thriving.
Philippians 1:27
All I know is that verse shot into my heart like lightning. And I know, God had mercy on Paul so that he didn't have sorrow upon sorrow from losing Epaphroditus. I saw the mercy of God in that passage. And I knew, in my weakness, my sorrow, my fear, I needed mercy. In the New Testament, I began to see that people would come to Jesus to be healed and they'd cry out, "Lord, have mercy on me." And, He'd heal them. They cried out for mercy and faith came next. Clinging to His mercy caused faith to grow in my heart. And Sweet Pea was carried full-term and arrived healthy and thriving.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Fear
I've wanted to write this blog post for some time now. Maybe the lack of big chunks of time to write uninterruptedly kept me from writing. Maybe it was not wanting to share my struggles that aren't totally conquered. I'm not sure. But, I'm sharing it now.
It's fear. It stinks. It's deceptive. It haunts your every breath. I'd say two years ago that fear was only a minimal struggle for me. Then, I lost the baby I was carrying in early 2012. And, fear is what I walked away with... every day. Fear of everything. Fear of losing my husband, our children, fear of bad things happening, fear of tragedy, fear of accidents, fear of disease... just plain fear. Don't check out on me and think, "You're just one of those worry-warts." No, I live a real life, with real responsibilities with real people I treasure beyond measure. Somehow, satan found a way to torment me.
I know the verse, "Perfect love casts out fear." I was so shaken and weak then that I was susceptible to whatever came my way. I could only cling to the foundation somewhere deep, deep, deep in my heart that I knew God is good and He is faithful. I didn't feel it. I didn't see it. I only knew it by faith. But, that's the core of how I live. And it was down there when I was shaken.
Later on in 2012 we were expecting again and this is the verse that helped with each day.
"For indeed he was sick to the point of death, but God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, so that I would not have sorrow upon sorrow."
Philippians 1:27
Mercy. It's stronger than fear.
It's fear. It stinks. It's deceptive. It haunts your every breath. I'd say two years ago that fear was only a minimal struggle for me. Then, I lost the baby I was carrying in early 2012. And, fear is what I walked away with... every day. Fear of everything. Fear of losing my husband, our children, fear of bad things happening, fear of tragedy, fear of accidents, fear of disease... just plain fear. Don't check out on me and think, "You're just one of those worry-warts." No, I live a real life, with real responsibilities with real people I treasure beyond measure. Somehow, satan found a way to torment me.
I know the verse, "Perfect love casts out fear." I was so shaken and weak then that I was susceptible to whatever came my way. I could only cling to the foundation somewhere deep, deep, deep in my heart that I knew God is good and He is faithful. I didn't feel it. I didn't see it. I only knew it by faith. But, that's the core of how I live. And it was down there when I was shaken.
Later on in 2012 we were expecting again and this is the verse that helped with each day.
"For indeed he was sick to the point of death, but God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, so that I would not have sorrow upon sorrow."
Philippians 1:27
Mercy. It's stronger than fear.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Thoughts from Last Sunday
Here are a few thoughts from our pastor's sermon last Sunday.
"Be found working where God put you."
Whatever season God has you in, whatever place He's put you, get busy doing it with excellence. Lots of stay-at-home wife-mothers are discontent. They want more creativity, an e-business, a nicer DIY type of home, better cell phone plan, a career, anything... just always something more than what they've got... I know the temptations. It's deceptive though. Be found working where God put you. It implies contentment. After all, Godliness with contentment IS great gain.
"Do you have that temporary-ness in your soul?"
This life is temporary. Heaven is the point. Heaven is the reward. Heaven is the goal. Having that temporary-ness in your soul is something you probably have to fight for every day as you walk through this world. It's part of being IN this world, but not OF this world. Folks who are OF this world, think that this place is it. It's everything. They think YOLO. You Only Living Once shouldn't make your plans for this life reckless and uncaring. YOLO should make you weigh your choices, ultimately choosing the eternal over the temporary. I do so many things on a daily basis that are meaningless and boring compared to many other folks' exciting, flashy life. That doesn't bother me now. God has helped me to see that the fruit of serving my husband and raising our children in a Godly manner won't be seen til Eternity. I'm good with that.
And the last thought that resonated with my heart is Revelation 22:20,
"Yes, I am coming quickly."
My heart cried out again as I heard our pastor say it... He's coming quickly. Yes, Lord, come. Take your people to Yourself! Come quickly!
"Be found working where God put you."
Whatever season God has you in, whatever place He's put you, get busy doing it with excellence. Lots of stay-at-home wife-mothers are discontent. They want more creativity, an e-business, a nicer DIY type of home, better cell phone plan, a career, anything... just always something more than what they've got... I know the temptations. It's deceptive though. Be found working where God put you. It implies contentment. After all, Godliness with contentment IS great gain.
"Do you have that temporary-ness in your soul?"
This life is temporary. Heaven is the point. Heaven is the reward. Heaven is the goal. Having that temporary-ness in your soul is something you probably have to fight for every day as you walk through this world. It's part of being IN this world, but not OF this world. Folks who are OF this world, think that this place is it. It's everything. They think YOLO. You Only Living Once shouldn't make your plans for this life reckless and uncaring. YOLO should make you weigh your choices, ultimately choosing the eternal over the temporary. I do so many things on a daily basis that are meaningless and boring compared to many other folks' exciting, flashy life. That doesn't bother me now. God has helped me to see that the fruit of serving my husband and raising our children in a Godly manner won't be seen til Eternity. I'm good with that.
And the last thought that resonated with my heart is Revelation 22:20,
"Yes, I am coming quickly."
My heart cried out again as I heard our pastor say it... He's coming quickly. Yes, Lord, come. Take your people to Yourself! Come quickly!
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