I've experienced the horrors of Poison Ivy numerous times in my life. And, being that I recently experience its awfulness again, I'd like to share a few tips for surviving it.
#1 - Always itch at night.
No one can scold you that way. Honestly, if they knew how itchy it was, they wouldn't say, "Don't scratch." Reality check. If it itches, scratch it! Deal with the repercussions later.
#2 - Have a great story.
The first question is always, "How did you get it?" And, answers like "Weeding" or "Hiking" are just too standard or boring. I mean, most people know how you got it already - you touched Poison something or other and VOILA, you now itch like crazy and are ready to exterminate every green thing that has "leaves of three" on this planet. When I was a teenager, I got a really bad case of it right before going to gymnastics camp. That didn't stop me. I only waited my entire childhood to go there, so I was practicing as usual and packing my bags. The problem is that tumbling requires being upside down and that means all the blood rushes to your head. Then, the rash that is on your face (but finally starting to heal), turns purple for the duration of gymnastics practice. By the end of the first day of camp, I was so tired of answering, "What happened to your face?" One coach advised me to say, "You should see the other guy!" I decided then and there that a good story is entirely necessary.
#3 - Whenever possible, swell.
Yes, swelling is uncomfortable, but it really helps you get extra pity points. After all, if your face resembles the Hunchback of Notre Dame's face, people will actually feel more sorry for you than just watching you writhe around and sit on your hands in attempts not to scratch that blasted stuff.
If you have it, I pity you. I'll draw an oatmeal bath for you myself and have a bottle of Calamine lotion delivered to your doorstep tomorrow.
