The other day, Blossom4 rushed in the house, sobbing uncontrollably. The following conversation went something like this:
Blossom4: "I atzidently ate a PIRE ant."
(I accidentally ate a fire ant.)
Me, while examining for signs of injury: "What???"
Blossom4: "I atzidently ate a PIRE ant! I tought it was a buhlack one, but it wadn't. It was a WED one."
(I accidently ate a fire ant. I thought it was a black one, but it wasn't. It was a RED one.)
Me, relieved at no sign of injury or blood: "You mean, a chicken ate the ant? Not you, right? It's ok. Don't worry, it won't hurt the chicken."
Blossom4: "Nooooooo, I tought it was a BUHLACK one, but it WADN'T. It wad a WEDDDDD one. I was TWYING to eat dee ant."
(No, I thought it was a black one, but it wasn't. It was a REDDDDDDD one. I was TRYING to eat the ant.)
Me, incredulous: "Wait, you were TRYING to eat the ant??? You ate an ant ON PURPOSE???"
Blossom4: "Yet, but I tought it was a BUHLACK one. I didn't know it wad a WED one."
(Yes, I thought it was a black one. I didn't know it was a RED one.)
Me, quirking an eyebrow: "Do you do this often?"
Blossom4: "Yet, tumtimes, when I'm outtide, I eat ants, but ONEE the BUHLACK ones. I neber eat da PIRE ants!"
(Yes, sometimes, when I'm outside, I eat ants, but ONLY the BLACK ones. I never eat FIRE ants!)
Me: ................crickets.......................
I'm actually speechless for the first time in my entire life.
At this point, there's a scrolling sign in my brain. It reads: I.can't.even.
Yes, ladies and gents, my four year old pixie daughter was upset, not because she was injured. No, she was not upset because she'd actually eaten an ant.
She was upset because this unfortunate ant was the wrong color.
