Lately, I've been paying special attention to keeping my spirit
filled up. I was
delving into a sermon called “Unshakable,” shared by Beth Moore. It took 7 full days to finish listening to
it. During those seven days of short fits and spurts of listening an old nemesis
reared its head.
Whilst listening to those blurbs of truth, the whining began. The phone started ringing. Someone needed a snack...urgently. Someone did something to so-and-so. After several pauses and restarts, I
screeched in frustration, “I can’t even listen to a sermon!”
Gulp.
Red flag.
I’m twelve years into my motherhood journey and any sentence that begins with “I can’t even...” has become a red flag to me.
Through the years of my motherhood journey, I found myself saying these things:
“I can’t even get a shower in privacy.”
“I can’t even get time to exercise.”
“I can’t even get enough sleep to think straight.”
"I can't even finish a glass of water without someone washing their hands in it... or spilling it."
When I start a sentence with “I can’t even…” I now realize that I need an attitude adjustment. That phrase tips me off; instantly alerting me that my focus is in the wrong place entirely.
When I start a sentence with “I can’t even,” I’m pitying myself.
When I say “I can’t even,” I’m resenting the “interruptions” my children are making or the effects they are having on my life.
When I hear “I can’t even…” coming out of my mouth, I know I’ve forgotten that I am a servant.
But, servants don't have rights.
Being a Christian is living the life of a servant. When the red flag of "I can't even..." starts popping up in my words, I'm waving the white flag of surrender afresh, letting go of my own rights in service to the Master.
A few snapshots from a hiking adventure with the Rugged Mountain Man
