Friday, August 1, 2014

Mommies and Personal Care

Dear Doctor,
I tried to hydrate myself today.  I got a fresh glass of water and sat on the swing to watch my children play.  One child stuck her hand in to get an ice cube.  Now my water is gritty.  I got another glass of water.  One child wanted a drink.  Now my glass is slimy.  Then, another child wanted to be near me.  My glass of water got spilled.  (I think I may try drinking straight out of the faucet.)  Another time, I decided to try a fresh glass of water left out on the counter.  My littlest climbed up and dumped it all over the counter.  I've recently switched to those pretty plastic cups with lids and straws.  My child was nearby in a high chair.  She grabbed it, took a long swig and then pitched it over the side, as she does with all her other sippy cups.  My fancy cup cracked open and spilled all over the floor.  Sigh.  This is why I am dehydrated.  I gave up and ate some chocolate instead. 

Dear Chiropractor,
I know you want me to work out so I don't turn into a jelly body.  I tried to stretch and one child climbed on my back.  Another child laid in my lap and insisted on nursing.  When I give Tae Bo a shot, everyone wants to do it with me, and I spend more time instructing than actually working out.  They bounce off the walls; I don't even break a sweat.  The dog thinks it's playtime and bites me.  I've thought of working out when they are asleep, but I really like sleeping at naptime.  Besides, they might get ahead of me where sleep hours are concerned.  I've attempted walking, but they all walk too slow for me to break a sweat.  I gave up and ate some Nutella instead.

Dear Dentist,
Please refer to above letters.  I realize I should floss more but I'm exhausted from all my other personal care attempts, so I fall into bed at night.