The ultra-independence thing is counter to what the Bible teaches. This is the very reason that your flesh may be squirming as you read this. Lest I sound bossy or preachy or arrogant, understand this, I struggle with bossiness and insubordination sometimes. It is truly a journey of letting the Lord convict and change me. My conscience pricks me mid-bossy-sentence and I have to stop and apologize. My husband is so gracious to me. Sometimes, the way I learn not to be bossy to him, is to just be quiet. And, if you know me, that's hard. Really hard.