Friday, June 6, 2014

75 Reasons Why Mommies Never Get Sleep

I was chatting with a cousin and she mentioned that life with four children was going fine.  She said, "The other night I had FOUR HOURS of sleep when no one bothered me."  I thought it was an odd things to say then, but I get it now.  The odds are against Mommy sleeping.  It'd be a lot funnier if you weren't so tired, right?


1.       “I’m scared.”

2.       “What if there is a bear/skunk outside?”

3.        “I’m hot.”

4.       “I’m sweaty.”

5.       “I’m cold.”

6.       “I don’t have any covers.”

7.       “I don’t have enough covers.”

8.       “I lost my doll/stuffed animal.”

9.       “I want to be with you.”

10.   “I want to sleep in your bed, Mommy.”

11.   “I want to snuggle with you, Mommy.”

12.   “I want to sleep in Sissy’s bed.”

13.   “I have to go potty.”

14.   “I already went potty in my panties.”

15.   “My hiney leaked.”

16.   “My sheets are wet.”

17.   “The floor is wet because I almost made it to the potty.”

18.   “I can’t find clean panties.” 

19.   “My hair is in my eyes.”

20.   “I don’t feel good.”

21.   “I thought I saw flashes of light.  It might be lightning.”

22.   “I thought I heard thunder.”

23.   “It is raining.”

24.   “It is raining VERY hard.”

25.   “I see lightning.”

26.   “I’m afraid of thunder.”

27.   “I think it is going to storm.”

28.   “I heard a noise.”

29.   “There’s something tapping on my window.”

30.   “Our nightlight is acting funny.”

31.   “We don’t have a nightlight.”

32.   “Toby (the cat) was licking me.”

33.   “Jake (the dog) barked at something.”

34.   “One of the animals was sleeping on me.”

35.   “I am too excited to sleep.”

36.   “Is it time to get up yet?”

37.   “It’s light out.”

38.   “I’m too nervous to sleep.”

39.   “I had a bad dream.”

40.   “Sissy is in my bed.”

41.   “Sissy is snoring.”

42.   “Sissy is awake, why can’t I get up?”

43.   “Sissy took my pillow.”

44.   “Sissy took my covers.”

45.   “Sissy is hogging all the room.”

46.   “Sissy’s feet are in my face.”

47.   “Sissy won’t lay still.”

48.   “Sissy won’t be quiet.”

49.   “I want to play.”

50.   “I’m hungry.”

51.   “I’m thirsty.”

52.   “You didn’t give me a kiss.”  (I did.)

53.   “You didn’t tuck me in.”  (I did.)

54.   “I’m stuffy; my nose is bothering me.”

55.   “I heard Daddy.”

56.   “I want to say good-bye to Daddy.”

57.   “I want to wave good-bye to Daddy.”

58.   “I want to hang out with Daddy.”

59.   “I want Daddy to kiss me before he leaves.”

60.   “I want Daddy to hug me before he leaves.”

61.   Baby Blossom: “I need milkie.”

62.   Baby Blossom: “I need more milkie.”

63.   Baby Blossom: “My diaper leaked all over you.”

64.   Baby Blossom: “My diaper leaked all over the bed.”

65.   Baby Blossom: “I feel like rolling and crawling in my sleep and my head bonked you in the face.”

66.   Baby Blossom: “Mommy, you ate too much chocolate, so now I’m ready to take on the world.”

67.   Toby puked on the floor.

68.   Jake puked on the floor.

69.   Jake needs to go outside to see what is in the yard.

70.   Jake needs to go out because someone fed him something they shouldn’t.

71.   Jake is too hot.

72.   Toby or Tabby want to be all cat, all night.

73.   A purring animal is standing on Mommy.

74.   A purring animal is standing on Baby Blossom.

75.   A sleep-walking child sounds like a household intruder.