To Be or Not To Be a Diva: Another thing

My thoughts on Divas, Christianity, Women and Girls:

The next thing that comes to my mind when I think of whether or not there are Christian divas, is the story of the rich young ruler.  It is found in Mark 10.  The young man had kept so many of the commandments for a good long time.  And, many divas do.  They might not steal or overall, appear to be upstanding citizens.  However, there's one thing they lack.  It is that total abandon.  That willingness to do ANYTHING for Christ.  In their case, that "anything" might be a willingness to sell all their fashionable clothing and accessories if Christ prompted them to do so.  And, as I write this, I feel the Holy Spirit pricking my heart.  How willing am I to give up anything that Christ would want me to part with?  If He prompts, my heart should jump in obedience.  (If that's too sappy for you, I'm not sorry, because that's how simple obedience to my Lord ought to be for me.)  It bothers me that we excuse "divahood" in today's society (or today's church, for that matter) because their vice or crutch or besetting sin or whatever you want to call it is, "only beauty" or "only fashion."  If anything stands in front of my love for Christ, it is wrong.  It is an idol.  Divas have an idol.  Therefore, it is wrong. 

To Be or Not to Be A Diva: Why not?

My thoughts on Divas, Christianity, Women and Girls:

I don't want to be a diva because I think there are no Christian divas.  I think being a diva is totally opposite what it means to be a Christian.  You might be thinking that I'm taking things a little too far.  Some girls are just that way... they just like fashion and they just think about themselves and what they want more than the next girl.  I don't think that's the case.  One of the first verses that comes to mind is Matthew 16:24-25:
Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

One of the first things we're commanded to do, if we wish to follow Jesus is to deny ourselves.  We must lose our life to save it.  That means, all my agendas, all my favorite vices, all my soapboxes, all my desires, it all goes right out the window.  What Jesus wants reigns supreme.  Period.  His will is what we desire.  (just as He desire the Father's will when He walked this Earth.)  Our desires are subject to His desires.  A diva puts her desires, wants, and/or needs above everyone else's.  That is opposite what a Christian does.  Strike One.

To be or not to be...

a Diva, that is.  I'm not what you might call a diva.  I never have been.  Frankly, I've always considered myself of the Plain Jane variety, but not in a bad way.  "Plain Jane" says to me - sensible, ordinary, level-headed, balanced, pretty without being Hollywood-ish.  So, this "Plain Jane" term holds no negative connotations for me.  The definition for diva is actually, "a highly distinguished female singer; a prima donna."  It is Italian from Latin for "Goddess."  "Prima Donna" actually means something like "the leading lady."  When I refer to a "Diva," I'm referring to that current prevalent attitude that includes most of the following:
- extreme selfishness
- shallowness
- over-emphasis upon style and fashion
So, I've determined that I don't want to be a diva and I don't want our Blossoms to be divas.  More on the reasons and the whys and whatnot in the coming days...

It applies

I was talking with my husband about this blog post series.  Immediately, he suggested that we apply the same rules to when Mommy and Daddy are in conversation with others while we're out and about.  AHA!  Daddy made such a good point!  Really, telling me insistently, while tugging on my skirt, that you want a donut, is just not that pressing!  This happens frequently at church!  So, we turned to the Blossoms and said that the new phone rules apply to Mommy-n-Daddy-n-Adult conversations.  "Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, Mommy." 

Learn to wait or figure it out

#4 - Learn to wait or figure it out.
If no one is hurt or about to get hurt or lost, it will wait.  This is a part of learning patience.  I'm sure this will be challenging as we re-implement the rules.  Your question can wait.  Either figure it out on your own (the older ones usually can) or find something productive to do in the meantime.  Keep in mind, I'm writing from the perspective of a mother of a 7yr old, 5yr old and 3yr old.  It's a little different if you've got an infant or toddler.  You may have to be prepared with the exersaucer or pack n play or high chair with special toys or snacks.  The "Be Prepared" motto fixes almost any motherhood problem scenario.  If we plan, we can usually at least make things easier on ourselves and them.  So, plan, plan, plan! 

So, those are my thoughts on phone etiquette.  I must teach them etiquette so that I can properly exercise etiquette to those that talk to me on the phone.  It's a domino effect.  I want them to know that their rudeness affects others.  There's another good principle! 

I reserve the right...

I reserve the right not to answer.  Yes, that's right.  If it is a bad time, I don't answer.  You don't have to answer either.  You can call them back.  Save yourself the bother sometimes.  If the baby is screaming, the toddler is climbing and the youngster is missing-in-action, you may want to focus on other things for a few minutes.  Make the call to skip that call.  You can get a hold of them later.  Sometimes the Little People are bad when I'm on the phone because I chose to answer the phone at a bad time.  Let's think for a moment... a bad time to answer might be:

- when you're making lunch and they're starving.
- when you just got home and you're still unloading them from your family vehicle.
- when it's just about naptime and you can't find the favorite stuffed animal and someone else needs to be changed and (etc, etc)
- when it's school time (um, if you were a teacher, no one could get a hold of you either).

Rowdiness begets rowdiness

#3 - Therefore, rowdiness is not allowed while I am on the phone, since I am unable to referee. 
There's a time and a place for horsing around.  My husband says the place is outside, now that the Blossoms are getting bigger.  And yes, girls can still create quite a ruckus with their gymnastics tricks and horse imitations and whatnot.  So, all rowdiness is now prohibited as soon as I utter my standard, "hello."  Any violation of this rule is considered outright disobedience and is punishable with a spanking after sitting in the waiting chair, ending the phone call, taking a deep breath and locating one of 5 missing spanking sticks/spoons. 

The Waiting

I think I've just established a concept.  We'll call it, "The Waiting Chair."  It doesn't sound pleasant, does it?  Offenders to the aforementioned and about-to-be-mentioned rules will be snagged, (dragged by the ear - JUST KIDDING) and placed in the miniature rocking chair, which is centrally located in the kitchen.  When I finish the phone call, offences will be swiftly dealt with... hopefully, I will deal with them calmly and fairly. 

Rules!

#1 - Say Excuse Me.
They will need things.  Someone needs to be wiped.  Someone spilled something.  Maybe someone is at the door.  Approach Mommy nicely and say "Excuse Me, Mommy."  Interruptions are part of life.  I want them to learn how to interrupt gracefully, respectfully and tactfully. 

#2 - Don't tattletale unless someone will get hurt. 
My tattletale rule works well here.  I'm instituting it on this list as well.  Yes, it is ok to scream that your sister may be hanging from the top bunk by one hand and screaming her lungs out.  Yes, I will run like crazy and that will be appropriate.  (No, this hasn't happened here yet.)  However, coming to me, calmly and slowly when your 2 yr old sister is stuck on the ladder to the clubhouse loft, isn't exactly what I had in mind.  (Yes, this has happened here, but don't worry, there are only four rungs on that ladder and no one was hurt in the process.)

We need review

It's human nature.  We need to review!  I'm noticing this with my 7yr old, 5yr old and now my 3yr old.  We use to have better behavior while Mommy is on the phone.  We've seen better days of less tattle-tale-ing.  I think it's just human nature, but it doesn't mean I'm prepared to keep that level of disobedience here in our 'appy 'ome.  (Points for you if you just got the subtle Anne Shirley reference!)  Then, I googled it - the phone behavior thing, I mean.  I thought, why reinvent the wheel?  Surely some Mom has some guidelines for what is acceptable for small or young children while Mommy is on the phone.  Google failed me.  It's only ever happened once before... hmmm, so here goes.  I'm inventing the wheel - maybe.  In any case, I'm shooting for peace in our home - even when I'm on the phone.

How much more does God???

I was sharing the previous thoughts with a friend of mine recently and she shared this story.  She and her daughter went shopping together prior to Christmas.  One commented, "Oh, what a pretty bag!  Mine is wearing out."  This bag ended up under the Christmas tree.  The other commented on another item, that also ended up under the Christmas tree.  How much more does God (our Heavenly Father) pay heed to our "little mentions" than a mother and daughter do to each others' "little mentions?!" 

So, my challenge to you is this:
Instead of bemoaning and regretting the lost long uninterrupted times of persevering prayer, make faith-filled mention of your family to the Lord.  I believe He will honor it.