It took a lot for me to share my experiences with favoritism. I am not proud of the fact that I showed favoritism, particularly in my gymnastics coaching days. I've made a commitment here though, that I will not put up a front. I live a real life, with real blessings, real victories, real messes and at times, real pains and real sins, but...
Steady plodding makes good progress.
So, I keep plodding along steadily in the pursuit of real-life holiness and I try to share humbly with you.
That said, I'd like to delve a little deeper into the sensitive topic of favoritism. My parents never had favorites amongst their children, probably because my mom once recounted to me how her father was on the wrong side of favoritism. It's funny how being on the wrong side of it, helps you to realize how truly wrong it is. Mom and Dad were really good about combating perceived favoritism as well. You've probably noticed the effects of perceived favoritism if you've ever had only one out of your four children very sick. Everybody wants Mommy's attention, but all of Mommy's attention is taken over by your one little one who desperately needs you. It's not a bad thing. It isn't purposeful avoidance, it's just that your sick little one's needs are so much greater and more pressing at the time than your other children's needs. Sometimes children don't get that. That's when you gotta go the extra mile to communicate to your children that you love them all. There's no pat answer for how to fix a situation like that, especially not instantaneously. In my own experience, I've used the Mommy Date or Daddy Date concept with our Blossoms. Each girlie gets a Mommy date or Daddy date every now and then. It's not usually something huge, just a solo trip to Walmart or Lowe's with Mommy or Daddy. This includes:
- a candy bar or bottle of Gatorade
- a sizable helping of undivided attention from the parent
- plenty of uninterrupted conversation with each other
Wow. Our girlies thrive with this. It really is an inexpensive, excellent way to combat perceived favoritism.
